Sports Esteem

The following attempts to answer some of the more common questions from parents.

1. Q. Why didn't my child seem to get as much playing time as some of the other players?A. The team tries to balance out time so that all players get equal playing time. However, substitutions are done based on a game time situation and those situations don't happen at regular intervals. Therefore, over a single game, some players will get more game time than others. However, over a season, these playing variations should even out.


2. Q. Why didn't the referee/official call the obvious penalty for my child (or team)? What should I do when I see a bad call?A. Game officials are people and make mistakes like everyone else. Officials have to see the infraction to call it and often they just aren't looking at the right place at the right time. Mistaken calls happen at every level of the sport and are just part of the game. Often, games at younger levels just aren't called as critically as those at older levels. If you feel strongly that the official was not acting in a professional manner, then you should write a letter to the league officials with all the details and let them handle the complaint. Do not discuss the matter directly with the referee or in the presence of your child.


3. Q. What should I be doing to help my child reach a professional sports team?A. There are probably more things you can do to keep a child from reaching a professional team than there are ways to help. To reach the professional levels requires a tremendous amount of dedication on the part of a player. This dedication can only come from an absolute love of the game. This love of the game can only come from within and is based on positive and fun experiences. Therefore, the best thing a parent can do is make sure the child is enjoying the sport.


4. Q. What else can my child do to improve playing skills?A. If a child wants to improve, there are many ways including workbooks, private lessons, backyard drills, exercising and just more experience. The most important thing is that the child wants to improve. Parents can't force a child to get better, but they can help by participating along with their child and by making the process of improving a positive and fun experience. This gives children the chance to share this experience with their parents.


5. Q. If the primary goal is not about winning, why publish wins, losses and other statistics?A. Parents, coaches and players are going to keep their own standings whether the league does or not. Although winning is not the primary goal, sports is about competition. During games, coaches want players to compete against their previous performances to raise their level of play and they want the same thing at a team level. Tracking wins and losses is one method of motivation to improve and measure performance. Parents shouldn't focus on wins to determine the success of a season.


6. Q. Why do the kids always start practice with something that doesn't seem to emphasize or build new skills?A. Players can't just go straight into maximum effort. Their muscles need time to warm up and stretch before attempting more aggressive drills. They also must mentally switch from school or family issues to physical performance. Therefore, practices often start with drills that help the kids loosen up, both physically and mentally.


7. Q. Am I a bad parent for wanting my child's team to win?A. Being competitive is perfectly normal. However, it is important to separate your desire for wins with your child's desire to have fun. Wins and losses are team accomplishments and a win or a loss shouldn't determine how or in what mood you talk with your child after a game. If you want to make sure you can continue watching sports activities in the future (because your child continues playing), you must keep wins and losses in perspective.


8. Q. Why do coaches continue substituting players when the score is close and the game is almost over? Why not leave the best players in to give the team a chance to win the game?A. The team is committed to winning and losing as a team with every player given equal playing time. All players should experience the highly competitive end to a game in order to develop their understanding of these situations.


9. Q. My child doesn't try his hardest at practices or games. What can I do to make him try harder?A. There is little you can do to make a child try harder. Children must do it for themselves. A lack of effort is typically due to a lack of fun. Work with your child to start the skills development cycle. Find something your child is doing right and praise the accomplishment. Provide other ways for your child to excel if his skills are not up to those of other players. For example, helping your child understand position play can make them one of the smarter players even if they are not one of the fastest.

A Report to the President From the Secretary of Health and Human Services and the Secretary of Education

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Our nations young people are, in large measure, inactive, unfit, and increasingly overweight. In the long run, this physical inactivity threatens to reverse the decades-long progress we have made in reducing death from cardiovascular diseases and to devastate our national health care budget. In the short run, physical inactivity has contributed to an unprecedented epidemic of childhood obesity that is currently plaguing the United States. The percentage of young people who are overweight has doubled since 1980.Physical activity has been identified as one of our nations leading health indicators in Healthy People 2010, the national health objectives for the decade. Enhancing efforts to promote participation in physical activity and sports among young people is a critical national priority. That is why, on June 23, 2000, President Clinton issued an Executive Memorandum directing the Secretary of Health and Human Services and the Secretary of Education to work together to identify and report within 90 days on strategies to promote better health for our nations youth through physical activity and fitness. The President concluded his directive: "By identifying effective new steps and strengthening public-private partnerships, we will advance our efforts to prepare the nations young people for lifelong physical fitness."To increase their levels of physical activity and fitness, young people can benefit from

• Families who model and support participation in enjoyable physical activity.
• School programs - including quality, daily physical education; health education; recess; and extracurricular activities that help students develop the knowledge, attitudes, skills, behaviors, and confidence to adopt and maintain physically active lifestyles, while providing opportunities for enjoyable physical activity.
• After-school care programs that provide regular opportunities for active, physical play.
• Youth sports and recreation programs that offer a range of developmentally appropriate activities that are accessible and attractive to all young people.
• A community structural environment that makes it easy and safe for young people to walk, ride bicycles, and use close-to-home physical activity facilities.
• Media campaigns that help motivate young people to be physically active.

Strategies

 

When parents hear their child compared to professional athletes, they hope to hear that their child has the moves of Wayne Gretzky or the arm of Brett Favre. Parents don't really want to learn that their child has the manners of Dennis Rodman or the easygoing nature of John McEnroe. Not all comparisons to professional athletes are intended as compliments. 

"Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing."

"If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?"

"Losing only teaches you how to lose."

"Americans play to win at all times. I wouldn't give a hoot for a man who lost and laughed."

America prides itself on all forms of competition and tracking wins and losses is an ingrained part of the nation's character. This winning attitude should be carried over into youth sports. However, without understanding what it is we are trying to win, we run the risk of losing and losing big.

Tracking wins and losses is easy when there are countable things like game outcomes. It becomes much harder when it comes to things such as fun, passion and skills progression. This sometimes leads parents and coaches to believe that winning in youth sports concerns game outcomes rather than life experiences.

The old adage that losing only teaches someone how to lose doesn't apply only to games. It applies to all areas of life such as learning, sportsmanship, friendship, teamwork and self-discipline, to name a few. If kids lose in these areas but win in games, then kids won't have much to show for their youth sports experience. However, if kids win in these areas but lose games, then their experiences will last a lifetime.

Professional sports, used as a role model for youth sports, can often produce disastrous results for a kid's long-term success. Youth sports are not a farm system for high school, college or professional sports. Youth sports are a farm team for business, politics, education, communities and families. Viewed in this manner, success and winning are all about building the best kids possible.

The chances of any child's playing college or professional sports are extremely slim. So, if winning is determined by this standard, most kids will end up as losers. If winning is determined by positive life lessons, then there is an opportunity for every kid to be a winner. And, there is an opportunity for every coach and parent to make a difference.

The popular saying that "Losing makes you a loser" may be true. But, its misuse in youth sports threatens to leave parents with kids who value the appearance of winning over true personal success. Parents have a huge role to play in helping their kids learn the right lessons from youth sports and use their youth experiences to become better business, community and family leaders. Winning is an important part of youth sports. But, parents must always keep focused on what their kids are trying to win. Keeping this perspective makes it much easier to see game outcomes as interesting but irrelevant.

Youth coaches sometimes joke that the ideal youth team is a team of orphans. Though this approach is one solution to problem parents, there are other more practical solutions. One of the best is regular communication with parents. Everything a coach does with the team is in parental view. In the absence of coaching guidance, parents form and communicate their own opinions of the status of the team and the steps necessary for improvement. Some parents may be objective and knowledgeable about the sport, but if they don't speak up, then the overall team opinion may be shaped by others. For coaches, these parent-to-parent and parent-to-player communications can become distracting to their efforts to make team improvements. Coaches should consider short and regular meetings with all parents to help shape these opinions and give parents better insight into what to watch for in games and practices. In a recent Sports Esteem survey of coaches and parents, over 60% thought that coaches should at least meet occasionally with parents after a game. In these meetings, coaches might cover:

• Recent team performance giving parents insight into the progress the team is or is not making in various areas.
• Approaches taken in practices that are attempting to shape game performance.
• Reemphasis of team goals and objectives.
• Realistic guidance concerning upcoming game and practice performance.
• Positive comments concerning every player. Mentioning only a few players may raise more parent concerns.
• Reminding parents to praise their children's efforts and encourage their kids to have fun and develop a love for the game.

The overall test of a youth coach is whether his players have fun, learn new skills and want to play again next season. Yet, in the emotions of a game or issue, these goals can get lost or seem secondary. Coaches need to have the courage and conviction to keep their parents working toward these goals and this requires regular and consistent communication. The temptation to avoid parental contact only amplifies problems over time and lets small problems become large problems later in the season. Parents help judge the success of coaches, teams and seasons. In the absence of information, their judgments will vary greatly based on their own experiences and knowledge. With information, parents gain better appreciation for the challenges coaches face and continue to learn how they can best support their child's efforts.